Now look, I don’t wish terror, slavery or an angry bear on anybody. But this latest trailer for Far Cry 3 makes the protagonist and his friends out to be absolute blithering idiots. Like some bone-headed version of The Beach, this gaggle of dunces decides to have a party on an island belonging to a bunch of pirates, mercenaries and slave traders.

I’m pretty sure this whole ‘all your friends have been kidnapped now, you fool’ scenario could’ve been avoided with a bit of research into holiday destinations. The Foreign Office has tips about this kind of thing.

Luckily, our idiot-in-chief can save the day by dancing with some island locals and eating a bunch of drugs. Wait, did, I write ‘luckily’, there? I think I meant to say ‘this plot is ridiculous’.

Far Cry 3 is due at the end of November for Europe, and 4 December in the US.

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