That’s right, everyone: it’s time for me to once again talk about the noble art of kicking a ball, thanks to a new FIFA 15 trailer.
This particular one has the excellently named Eden Hazard, who apparently plays for both Belgium and Chelsea, showing off all the special ways he can kick a ball. This is interspersed with gameplay footage of his virtual avatar kicking a virtual ball in the exact same way! Virtually.
The trailer also tells you what buttons you need to press on the Xbox One and PlayStation 4 to actually do these ball manipulations, which are often the same combination. Like, uh… the “standing heel volley” (kicking a ball is sailing behind you by arcing your leg backwards and smacking it with your heel) is performed by pressing left trigger and B, which is the same combination you use to perform a “falling heel volley” (doing the same thing, but falling over at the same time).
Footballers and falling over, eh? I’m sure I’d be able to make a joke about that if I knew anything about the sport. Instead I’ll just comment that Eden Hazard is very skilled at playing with balls, and must be extremely flexible to do all these ball-related things with just his feet, because I’m mentally about 11 years old and childish innuendos make me giggle. God forbid I ever get the chance to write about Rimworld.
FIFA 15 is due out on 23 September in the land of North America, which makes sense because they’re mad for football, while we poor saps in Europe and the UK have to wait until 25 and 26 September respectively. That’ll teach us to not be big football fans.