If, like me, you find it impossible to buy food unless it’s somehow catering directly to your hobbies or interests, you’ll be delighted to learn about ‘Gamer Food’. As we know, it just makes sense to tie products to pastimes, which is how we ended up with ‘Hot Dogs For Windsurfers’ and ‘Palette: The Gourmet Dishes For Landscape Painters’. Except those don’t exist.
Why? Because it’d be stupid, that’s why. Videogaming is a strange beast, and one which over-paid marketing firms don’t seem to quite know what to do with yet. That’s the only explanation I can provide for Gamer Food; a selection of nutty snacks that are distinct from other nutty snacks because they have the word ‘Gamer’ on the packet.
They also come with irritating names (“Nuts of Destruction”, jesus) and bile-inducing ad copy “Less QQ, more Cashew!” (urg). But despite claims that they’ll “improve your game” (yes, I always play best when I have a hand in a packet of salty snacks), these things appear to contain enough saturated fats and sodium to kill a small dog.*
Unfortunately I need to link to the source of this horror now, but do me a favour by never, ever buying this rubbish. Thanks.
*Not scientifically tested by IncGamers.